I like to say yes

Yes, if you know me at all you know that I am a yes person. If someone asks me to do something I usually say yes right away. And often I feel overwhelmed because of all the yeses I have agreed to. This weekend my sisters say me down and told me that I need to start saying “NO!” That is just too hard. So I told them that I would compromise by telling people “I’ll think about it.” It’s a new skill so it will take time to master, but in the past few days, any time I tell someone that “I’ll think about it” rather than committing right away I feel an overwhelming sense of release. So, I thought of some other ways I can say “I’ll think about it” that might be helpful for any other yesers out there.

-Just No: “Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that.” (Say it, then shut up.)
-The Gracious No: “I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.”
-The “I’m Sorry” No: “I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.”
-The “It’s Someone Else’s Decision” No: “I promised my husband (friend, etc.) I wouldn’t take on any more projects right now. I’m working on creating more balance in my life.”
-The “My Family is the Reason” No: “Thanks so much for the invite, that’s the day of my daughter’s Christening, and I will already be busy with setting up for the reception.”
-The “I Know Someone Else” No: “I just don’t have time right now. Let me recommend someone who may be able to help you.”
-The “I’m Already Booked” No: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day.”
-The “Setting Boundaries” No: “Let me tell you what I can do …” Then limit the commitment to what will be comfortable for you.
-The “Not No, But Not Yes” No: “Let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you.” (This is the one that I’ve been using the most- with GREAT results.)

How do YOU say no?

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4 Responses to I like to say yes

  1. kir says:

    I hear ya, it can be really tough to say no! Years ago, a manager at my former company asked me to join another project which I honestly did not have the time for. With a sick feeling in my stomach, I gave a, “hey, I’m really bogged down with my other projects at the moment, and I don’t think it would be fair for others involved to get less than 100% Kirsten” (or something cheesy along those lines :)) He agreed and actually praised me for being open, and mentioned that he respected me more for it blah blah blah. I usually preface my “no” with an “awwwww, thanks for thinking of me… but, no.” 🙂

  2. Betsy says:

    That’s a great list. Brandon’s grandma was known for always using Brandon as an excuse to get out of just about anything she didn’t want to do! She would always say “I can’t, I’m babysitting my grandson.” It was a joke in the family that she used that excuse up until the day he left for college!

  3. I love learning new things about my hubs. Thanks for sharing Betsy!

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