Happy at all costs

All the books I have read on the subject agree that happiness, peace and joy exist in the present moment. When we choose to fully embrace where we are right now we can’t help but feel more at ease and therefore happier.

Instinctively, I know that the experts on happiness are right- the key to joy is to carry it with me even when life isn’t going as I wish. All I really need to do to feel happy is to shift my thoughts to ones that feel better.

Oh, but a mental shift isn’t as easy as one might think. At least not for me!

For my own health and the health of those I come into contact with I want to try an experiment, I want to see if I can be happy all costs.

Let me tell you what I mean by this. Recently there are 3 things that cause me the most distress – my insomnia, my messy house, and my husband working insane hours. Some of these are more under my control than others, but ultimately what makes me the most anxious is the feeling that I don’t have control over these things. And the more I cling to them the more they annoy me.

So, ideally, the next time I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep I will notice when that anger starts to bubble- “Great, another night of NO sleep. And now I have to get up and do all this stuff today. How am I going to get through today?!”

I’m hoping that the noticing will be my first trigger that reminds me to shift to a happier thought. Maybe one like, “Oh GOOD! It’s 4:30 am. Grace won’t be up for another 2 hours so I have time to do some meditating and reading before she gets up.” Even thinking that now makes me a little happier. Hmmm, this just might work! 🙂

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What are 3 things that make you unhappy and how can you make a mental shift to a more joyful place?

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3 Responses to Happy at all costs

  1. L. Rawson says:

    I once heard a speaker mention ” Finding the best in every situation”. He went on to state that you can strive to find a postitive inside every negative. For instance; you are driving and you get a flat tire. The first instinct is to feel anger, frustration, sometimes even rage, if you are pressed for time. Once this hits, he recomends that you quickly analyze the “wize of why”
    “am I angry because no one is here to help me?”- “am I frustrated because I don’t know how to change a tire?” ETC…The Key here is to start counting your blessings- so to speak. 1.” I have a car, many people do not.” 2.” I have insurance, which will provide a tow service,many cannot afford this.” 3.” I have a cell phone to call for help”…you could go on and on. This way of thinking trains your mind to the 90/10 principle: Life is 10% what happens to you that you have no control over, 90% is how you react . In some repects this is saying control your emotions, don’t let your emotions control you. We all have the ability to keep ahead of the day in this respect. IE: you are joy bound; wonderful! Now you can tell yourself every day will be JOYFULL, or FULL OF JOY, even if there are some not so joyful moments.

    • joymommy says:

      I like the idea of finding a positive inside every negative. My concern as I do this is that I will neglect that side of myself that is genuinely unhappy and will not make steps to improve my life, rather I will just “pretend” that I am happy. Hmmm. Do you experience that at all? I guess what I’m saying is that I want to be authentic in my happiness. 🙂

  2. L. Rawson says:

    Good point. I realize as I am remembering circumstances using this, human nature takes over. I can only see this way when it is genuine. Funny thing is, you find yourself calmer and less “guntrigger judge” about people and situations.More and more I see and react having used this as a sort of filter. Sometimes I have a right to be “less joyful”.. but I have mentally gauged all the possibilities, then go from there. I guess you could say I take a moment, breath, then respond with a healthier attitude..certainly more mature then I have been in the past. :), and not so much,
    “gee I wished I had thought that through”, or ” I really wished I had not said that.”

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